Pay your Tab!
by glompmeXD
Summary: Megatron and Starscream are at home on friday night, the one night that everyone looks forward to and goes out. so what do they do? find out... Also there are mention of characters from diffrent TV shows, but not enough to be considered a crossover XD
1. A night out

_Random transformers fic, this is for my younger brother! Enjoy,_

**Pay your Tab!**

It was Friday night and everyone was out, EVERYONE! The squishies, the Autobot's, the Constructicons, The Coneheads, Skywarp, Thundercracker even Soundwave and his miniature army. They were all out enjoying the one night a week everyone looked forward to. Well almost everyone, so there sat Megatron alone in his underwater base. Well not quite,

"This is reckless, where is everyone?" the screechy sound of Starscream slammed into Megatron's audio receptors as the command centre doors flew open. In Stormed Starscream coming over to stand by Megatron in a huff. The only two mechs that were stuck home while everyone else was having a good time. No one out partied, out socialised Megatron lord of the Decepticons, something must be done.

"Let's go out", Megaton sat there musing for a while "hmm ... to the Pink Pagoda!" Megatron's eyes lit up as if he just beaten Optimus Prime. Starscream rolled his eyes,

"Megatron, the pink pagoda is a bunch of tellietubbies on roller skates in an old packing create they emptied out and stuck a juke box and some tables in."

"Yes I know, but do you want to be the only slagger that didn't go out?" he raised an optic ridge at Starscream

"It doesn't bother me" Starscream huffed as he read through a data pad.

"Skywarp and Thundercracker won't let you live it down" Megatron pointed out

"..."

"Then it's settled we shall leave the nemesis under auto-guard, and re-group with the other Decepticons at 08 hundred hours, Starscream move out" with this Megatron bounced out of his throne and pointed to the exit, over dramatically as only Megatron can.

"Must you treat this like a battle?" Complained Starscream as Megatron dragged him out of the nemesis.

So there they sat at the far corner of an empty out packing create that could fit Devastator in standing up. It was half filled with creatures that the squishies never knew existed, well except for that one old squishie sitting in the corner. The one thing that revolted Starscream the most was the red, purple, green and yellow fuzzy tellietubbies that came up to their knees skating around on roller blades in frilly aprons serving the food and drinks. He didn't let it bother him as he finished his first cube of energon.

"Well it's not that bad" commented Megatron as he ordered another round of drinks from a yellow tellietubie. Glancing over the establishment, they could see the walls were made of grey metal with a few ceiling lights.

"Megatron, this place is terrible." Replied Starscream as the waitress returned with their drinks. Megatron took a sip of his pink cocktail.

"May I join you?" the two Decepticons almost jumped out of their chairs at the sound of Preceptor's voice. They turned to see him standing behind an empty chair at their table.

"Ah, yes?! What are you doing here?" questioned Megatron as he decided it was too much trouble to beat Preceptor up and returned to drinking his cocktail.

"Tellatran 1 was giving me slag about not going out so I thought I would make my way over here for the evening" sighed Preceptor as he sat down.

"Would you like to order sir?" asked a short green tellietubbie who had just roller skated over with a tray of empty glasses.

"Err... yes, the usual" Preceptor answered while looking around at the small crowd that was gathering in the bar.

"Ok that's 1 Shirley Temple coming up" and with that the green pile of fuzz roller skated away, Megatron and Starscream started to snicker at the name of Preceptors drink. By now a soft jazz number was being played through the bar by a four piece jazz group called 'The Napkins'.

"You come here often?" asked Starscream trying to make conversation as he finished his second drink.

"Occasionally, usually when Wheeljack blows something up and Ratchets in a bad mood and decides it's a good time to perfect his wrench wielding skills"...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~25 drinks and 6 bags of pretzels latter~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The evening rolled on and it was close to 3am, the bar was all but empty excluding three drunken mechs at the back of the bar who were laughing and chatting to each other. The manager of the establishment walked over to them, he was a red tellietubbie and had a tuxedo on, in attempt to give the bar a sense of class. Instead he looked like a short fuzzy object that was going to a Marilyn Munroe performance.

"Oww my neck" complained Megatron as Starscream and Preceptor fell over dragging him with them to the floor. They then found themselves staring at the fuzzy red thing.

"I am sorry sirs but it is closing time, please pay your bill of 210 energon chips" he held out his hand in anticipation at the three drunken mechs that could hardly stand.

"Do you have any money?" slurred Megatron as he emptied his sub space with 2 energon chips

"I have twenty energon chips, a piece of gum and a device with a red button" replied Starscream

"Your employer doesn't pay you much" commented Megatron as he continued to search for energon chips.

"YOU are my employer" came Starscreams reply as he pointed a finger at Megatron's chest plate

"Riiiight, how about you 'ceptor?" Megatron said as he swayed to face the other mech

"5 energon chips" came the mumbled reply as Preceptor fell on to his aft

"Wow, Optimus is even stingier then I am" said Megatron before turning to the red tellietubbie "we have 27 energon chips" he slurred as he dropped the pile of chips onto the poor tellietubie "Ha, no one charges the Decepticons ... and Preceptor" he finished before he stepped over the tellietubbie in attempt to reach the door, he was followed by Preceptor and Starscream. They got as far as half way across the dance floor before they all crashed in a pile on the ground.

The next morning Starscream woke with a horrendous CPU ache, he struggled to his peds finding it was very hard before lifting one leg to take a step forward and,

"What the...?" he cried before rolling backwards and crashing on top of Megatron and Preceptor. Who were now suddenly awake and finding that they too had CPU ache's the size of Sunstreakers' love for his paint job.

"What the slag is this?!" cried Preceptor CPU ache forgotten as he tugged at the white frilly apron that covered his body. Megatron and Starscream looked down to see that they too were also wearing frilly white aprons.

"Since you didn't manage to pay your tab, you have to work for us to finish paying off the 183 energon chip debt you still have" came the voice of the red tellietubie from the night before who walked into the room and stood with his arms folded across his chest.

"Why you" Megatron jumped to his Peds and began to run over and squish the fuzzy being that had put him in such an embarrassing situation but instead found himself spawn across the floor on top of Preceptor. He sent death glares at the smirking fuzz of red.

"WHERE ARE MY THRUSTERS!?" Megatron and Preceptor turned to Starscream who was staring murderously at the red tellietubbie. That's when they noticed that Starscreams thrusters had been removed and replaced with a wheel on each ped. They then noticed that Preceptor and Megatron's peds also had wheels on them. No wonder they couldn't stand up.

"All my employees wear roller skates, name badges and aprons it is compulsory. Now if you want your peds returned to normal all you have to do is work off your debt by waiting tables and you can be on your way, you have two hours to learn how to roller skate before the bar opens and you start work" and with that the fuzzy red tellietubbie turned on his heels marched towards the door. He paused in the entrance before adding "... and you will have to work longer to pay off your debt if you insult a customer or fight with each other." He then left leaving the three mechs in the back room looking confused and horrified.

Megatron, Starscream and Preceptor looked at each other and the horrible frilly aprons they were wearing. Preceptor was the first to come out of shock and speak.

"I guess we are stuck here until we earn off out debt" he said, optics still wide with disbelief

"Yeah, I'm not spending the rest of my existence without my thrusters" added Starscream who glanced down at his thrusterless peds.

"I will have to leave Soundwave in charge until we get back" they sat in silence for a few minutes before Megatron added, " we don't tell ANYONE about this, we will never live it down if we are seen like this" they all nodded in agreement

"hey Megatron, nice name tag" Starscream snickered as Preceptor and Megatron looked at Megatron's apron and sure enough on the top left side of the apron sat a name tag that had Megg's written on it. Megatron scrunched up his face plates at the badge.

"We all have tags" added Preceptor trying to make the warlord calm down. On both Starscreams and Preceptors aprons sat tags. Starscreams read 'Star' and Preceptor's had 'Tori'. They all sighed this was going to be a long day so they decided to learn how to roller skate.

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_Woo hoo, the end of this chapter. Did you guys enjoy it? Do you want me to write more? If you do please review! Otherwise you don't get to find out if the other bots see Megatron Starscream and Preceptor in aprons on roller skates XD_


	2. Working class mech

_Here's part two, Please review *puppy dog eyes* I like to know what you think_

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**Pay your Tab**

CRASH! Megatron fell over for the hundredth time. He glared at the skates on his peds wishing they would burst into flames. There was only 20 minutes left before their first shift started. Megatron had managed to contact Soundwave and leave him in charge until they could return, of course the navy mech wanted to know what was keeping them but Megatron didn't tell him. Preceptor could skate around now basically, but he was still very shaky and had to stick his hands out in front of him to keep balance. Starscream on the other hand was skating around with ease, even attempting to go backwards, but with great difficulty and where was Megatron, still on his aft as he just couldn't find his centre of gravity. Suddenly a hand was in front of him. Megatron looked up to see Starscream offering him help.

"If I have to waiter tables like this, so do you" and with that Starscream helped Megatron up. Leaning most of his wait on Starscream, Megatron found his centre of balance. Letting go of Starscream he stood up straight by himself. Using one grounded ped he pushed forward. Continuing he managed to skate around the room before he tripped over Preceptor who had fallen over a random piece of cheese. The three of them soon had this roller skating thing down pat after another 10 minutes of falling over each other and general chaos that only roller skates can bring.

"Hah, no one beats Megaton" he screamed triumphantly shaking his fist in the air. Megatron's ego as usual went out of proportion as he started rattling on. Preceptor and Starscream just shook their heads. Suddenly the red tellietubbie walked into the room. The three mechs looked at him, slightly embarrassed at wearing frilly aprons.

"I see you have managed to learn how to skate, good come with me to the main floor, you will return here after each shift until your debt is paid" he said as he lead the three mechs to the main floor where the customers sat. The place was empty minus one yellow tellietubbie sitting at the bar drinking what was called 'coffee'. The place was cleaned up and all signs of last night's mess were gone.

"Let's start, first you go to a table and ask what the customer wants. Record it on your pad, go to the bar and bring the drinks to them. They get the tab when they go to leave, so you don't have to worry about collecting the energon chips. Star, you take tables 1, 2 and 3. Megg's you get tables 4, 5 and 6. Tori you will be serving tables 7, 8 and 9. The last 4 tables will be looked after by the other employees. Do you understand?" he turned giving a questioning look at Starscream, Preceptor and Megatron.

"Yes, but can't you call us by our given names, the ones we have been issued with are not appreciated" answered Preceptor for the other two mechs who were just staring at the Tellietubie like Sunstreaker just painted himself pink and asked them to call him Lucy.

"Just write the table number and the drink, now here come the costumers" said the red tellietubbie, Po, as he walked off to mind the bar counter leaving the three mechs in the centre of the room. They retreated to the bar and stood next to the yellow tellietubie waiting for the customers to come in. It was about 10.30 in earth time. The first customer was a human dressed in black, with a funny cape. He sat at a table alone. Megatron sighed it was his table too. He skated over to the man, careful not to stack it.

"Hello how may I serve you?" asked Megatron in his nicest voice, which isn't that nice.

"I am Darth Vader, I want a caramel cuppichino" replied the man with heavy breathing, his voice sounds simular to Soundwaves except better thought Megatron.

"Yes sir" answered Megatron writing table 5 and caramel cuppichino on his note pad before returning to the bar and placing the order. Starscream and Preceptor watched casually as two more customers came in and sat at one of Starscreams table. Just before Starscream skated over Preceptor remembered something,

"I just realised that Tellatran 1 knows where I am. I better call and make sure she doesn't send the other Autobot's looking for me. Cover me for a minute Starscream" he cried as he skated off behind the bar. Starscream sighed heavily as he skated over to the two customers at table 1.

"How may I help you" he asked glancing at the two strangely dressed humans.

"I am Zuko and this is my uncle Iroh, have you seen the Avatar?" Asked the boy with a scar on the side of his face.

"No, I haven't but may I take your orders?" answered Starscream wondering what this Avatar human was like, and noting that his face drooped when he answered negatively.

"Jinn sang tea" answered the old man. Starscream raised an optic ridge but said nothing as he scribbled on his note pad and headed back to the bar. Megatron also had another table full of three creatures, a hobbit with a strange ring, a dwarf and a grey wizard (1). Preceptor had magically appeared again to serve the table of two characters called Bert and Ernie. Most of them ordered tea or coffee as it was so early in the morning.

It was going smoothly and half way through the shift they all got a moment to stop. As the pink pagoda was once again empty of customers. So there they stood tying to look as good as they could for three mechs in frilly aprons with roller skates and embarrassing name tags.

"Uhh, Tellatran 1 agreed not to tell, mostly because I threatened to fill her with green jelly. But I don't know how long she can stall them. They will probably get worried and start searching for me soon. Probably thinking the Decepticons have got me" Preceptor said trying to make conversation.

"You ARE with Decepticons" pointed out Starscream

"We will be fine" Starscream raised an optic ridge at Megatron

"Trust me" Megatron replied as he crossed his arms

"Megatron, I trust you as far as I can throw you, which means not at all" commented Starscream

"Are you calling me fat?" asked Megatron keeping his temper in check.

"Yes" replied Starscream looking straight at him

"I would start roller skating as fast as I can if I were you. Hmm I thought those light energon shakes would do the trick" pondered Megatron

"Try exercise" suggested Starscream

"I don't want too" pouted the war lord

"Then you better get use to your thighs the way they are then" sighed Starscream glancing at the tyrant out of the corner of his eye.

"Umm... err... Megatron you have a customer" Preceptor pointed out desperately trying to change the subject. Talking about Megatron's thighs was not one of the topics he ever wanted to discuss. After Sideswipe and Sunstreakers debate about which Decepticon had the best aft he really tried to avoid talking about mechs robotic models.

The three mechs turned to the entrance as the next customer walked in. Unfortunately for them it was Jazz, who fell on the floor in fits of giggles. All three mechs jaws dropped. Preceptor tried to hide behind Megatron. Megatron had his face in his hands and Starscream tried desperately to pull the frilly apron off.

"P-p-p- p-rime, oh hee hee, I-I-is, ha ha, oh boy, l-looking he for ha ha for...*sinker* you"

"Look a distraction" cried Megatron as he dramatically pointed at nothing in particular. The red tellietubie immediately looked where Megatron had pointed. As soon as he looked away the three mechs pounced on jazz, tied him up and stuck him in the nearest broom closet.

"You tell anyone you die" threatened Megatron as he closed the cupboard door. The tree mechs returned to their positions by the time Po looked back. He then looked at the large watch on his wrist and declared the first shift over. Preceptor, Starscream and Megatron let out a sigh of relief as they walked back to their room. They turned around to see the red tellietubbie, Po in the entrance.

"Well done, there are three shifts a day and just five more and you can go, that is if you work correctly. It would have been four but I found a customer named Jazz tied up in a cupboard. " And with that he left Starscream, Preceptor and Megatron in the back room as they all face palmed in unison.

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_Hope you enjoyed that chapter. If you have any ideas on what I can put in this story please tell me XD Oooh stick around for the next chapter. I'd love to hear your thoughts. Please review XD_

_(1) Lord of the rings for those who didn't guess it_


	3. Jazz is Back!

_Mega chapter __ trying to upload regularly…_

**High School Never Ends**

Poor shockwave who had arrived late was now lying under the coffee table he had taken up residence in as a hobo after missing room allocation. Jazz stood atop dancing to the loud blasting music from Soundwave. Blaster was downstairs using some serious base. Starscream sat unconscious in the lounge chair opposite the table. Megatron had gotten annoyed and wacked him with a huge 'Hall Monitor' rulebook under the guise of hall pass or something. Bluestreak sat next to him worry on her faceplates as she tried to rouse him from the depths of his subconscious. Ramjet and Hook watched from the far side of the hall giggling like the femmes they had become and disturbing Mix Master who retreated from the former mechs. Optimus briefly popped his head outside his shared quarters to complain about the noise but no one listened to him. Someone however did throw a pretzel at his face. Before he retreated into his quarters. Swindle was holding an Energon punch station. And quite a few mechs stood around dancing. The rest of the evening proceeded much the same way.

Most of the Group had disbanded from the room at curfew; only a few remained. Soundwave was still playing soft music through his speakers at those who were still sitting on the couches around the coffee table. Scrapper was passed out on the floor after drinking way too much on a school night. The three femmes Blaster, Sunstreaker and Hook sat on one couch with Dirge and Tracks on another. Astrotrain and Sideswipe occupied the third couch. Shockwave was still lying under the coffee table with a flattened out cardboard box as a bed sheet still desperately trying to go to sleep while the others chatted amongst themselves in low tones.

"…But its true" Giggled Blaster "Thundercracker told me himself! You know how fliers are, they're very close."

"Who the Seekers or Starscream and Blue?" whispered Sunstreaker

"Both" replied Blaster. This set the three femmes into a round of giggles.

"Geez it's only temporary too…" Added Tracks as the remaining mechs joined in the group discussion.

"You'll all turn back to normal at the end of next week" Astrotrain mumbled.

"Yes" replied Hook "But were just putting up with it till then, though some are doing better than others" the femmes fell into another round of giggles and Tracks smirked at this. Sideswipe started crackling to himself as a evil glint developed in his optic.

"Just what is so funny Bro?" Sunstreaker enquired noticing her brother's shift in moods.

"Yes, tell us exactly what is in that cunning CPU of yours" Encouraged Blaster. Everyone around the table was suddenly eager to hear what the resident Autobot prankster has to say.

"Well, its just that deep down everyone knows that this is temporary and that your not really femmes. So if you look at this whole situation level headedly there's nothing really going on." started Sideswipe.

"Pfft, Yes but where's the fun in that?" scoffed Sunstreaker

"Everyone has regressed back into high school mode so It would make for great gossip and who's going to be none the wiser, suddenly rumours will be flying around getting bigger and bigger. We wont have to do anything after the initial start. It will grow all on its own," cackled Sideswipe as he encouraged the three femmes.

"Your not proposing we start spreading rumours about Starscream and Bluestreak?" responded Hook; a little wary of getting caught in this mechs insane plans.

"Exactly people are so glad to be able to forget the war they go back into a mode of gossip, scandal and avoiding study till the last possible moment. Well at lease everyone but Prime and Prowl do but they will be too busy with their faceplates in the data pads to notice. And in a week or so when Blue turns back the rumours will end with no one the wiser of our involvement" Continued Sideswipe summarising his plan.

"Well that does sound like fun," giggled Blaster bouncing slightly in her seat. They were all like a pile of hyped up younglings with not enough sleep, thus such a stupid plan was hatched. It seemed that being turned into a femme messes with your processor…

"Well what shall we say?" encouraged Dirge

"We should start of with a few unsuspecting standard rumours and see where they go" Decided Sideswipe

"Yes, like an experiment" Giggled Blaster "well how about that blue wants to remain a femme"

"Yes and Starscream likes Dustan's or door wings or something" added Sunstreaker.

"Well I don't know about you guys but we could bring up the fact that Bluestreak was all over Starscream at the party" Tracks reminded them

"Ooohhh, you did see them? Man this is so much better than studying." Agreed Hook. The group broke out into a round of stifled giggles. Soundwave suddenly shut off the quietly playing music transformed and stumbled into his room shutting the door behind him. Shockwave then ended the evening with a sharp tug of his flattened out cardboard box as he pulled it further over his face and snapped a "go to bed" directed at the Seven other occupants of the hall.

* * *

Scrapper woke with a startle and a processor ache. He sat up dazed and confused in the upstairs hallway. He remembered drinking Swindles punch… Man what had he put in it? Well the only thing scrapper really knew was that he was late. To wherever he needed to be. How could he tell? Simple Shockwave had already gone to class. That mech was always on time. Scrapper stood up and fell down stairs. Ran across the courtyard, up Omega supreme who was watching through the second story window. And tumbled through the back window of his morning class.

"You're late," groused Kup who was the Biology teacher for no apparent reason. "Sit down."

"What did I miss?" whispered Scrapper to his desk partner Bone Crusher as he crawled to his seat in the back row.

"Nothing, for the last half hour he's been going on about 'Back in my day' and 'when I was your age'" whispered back Bone Crusher.

Kup then went on an hour-long rant about Quintesons, planets of Junk and something about respect. Scrapper was very grateful and so were many others he noticed Kup had mechs almost falling asleep well Frenzy had fallen into recharge and was drooling on her desk. Skyfire was the only one really paying attention. Everyone else seemed to be looking out the window, doodling in his or her notebooks or passing notes around. Bone Crusher had a note thrown at him by Astrotrain; Something about Starscream and Door wings. Scrapper didn't really care and soon follower Frenzys' example and tried to sleep off his processor ache.

* * *

Iornhide sat in her Thursday afternoon math class with Thrust. Why where they sitting together? Well, seats had been assigned by colour. Very original, so the two of them sat at the back because brownie red was very unattractive. Anyway Thrust soon got bored because of his short attention span.

"Did you hear the rumour," asked Thrust curiously.

"What rumr, aer yer talking aboot" groused Iornhide.

"Bluestreak, I figure if anyone would know if it was true an autobot would" prodded Thrust. Leaning in over the tables.

"Ah haven heard anyhthing" shrugged Iornhide not caring for tacky gossip. Thrust shrugged and returned to his previous position. The lesson started

Iornhide and Thrust paid attention to the Elder running the 'Cybertronian language' class. But she droned on and wrote pointless things down on the whiteboard. And then Iornhide and Thrust played 'how many desks can I get out of the classroom before the teacher notices' because there was nothing else to do. They got five out…

There was an empty hole in the centre of the room where those desks were...

The only reason the teacher noticed is because Thrust did a runner…

Needless to say that class was a shambles.

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_Wow Finally finished a chapter. Yes I was at school when the boys in my English class played 'how many desks can I get out of the classroom before the teacher notices'. Yes I am starting up this fic again. Yes weekly/fortnightly updates will happen. Why because I have finally got myself a master plan to work from…_


	4. New mech on the scene

_Hello it's been a while since I have written. By the way I have decided to put Cyclonus in this chapter, why because I want to and he's the only decent character in the G1 cartoons in season 3 and 4. Galvatron was just insane and Rodimus just annoyed me. (Sorry to all you season 3 and 4 fans) if you haven't been able to tell I just finished watching the end of season four. Was it just me or did 'snake' in the episode only human sound like Starscream?, what does happen to Starscream? And what comes after the season 4 of the G1 series? Ahhh sorry anyway on with the fic..._

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**Pay your tab!**

Only one word could sum up the afternoons events in Starscreams mind, 'Slag'. It was terrible the only relief he had was that he wasn't asked to sing. If the crack comments and jokes weren't bad enough he had to sit through the sly moves and corny pickup lines, honestly 'I lost my com frequency, can I have yours', was so sad it was embarrassing. Where on earth did he get that garbage? And no help from the hyena pair who were currently on the ground laughing themselves into deactivation. Starscream stood arms folded looming over Megatron and Preceptor in the back room, after their shift.

"Are you quite done?" he snarled at the pair.

"Hee, did you hurt, ha ha, yourself when you fell from heaven? Ha-ha" Megatron recited attempting to sound like Jazz had, and failing miserably.

"No no, 'somebody call the police, you have stolen my heart'" Preceptor added before falling again into a fit of giggles. Starscream gave up with the death glares and stomped over to the three cubes of energon sitting on the table. He picked one up and swallowed it in one gulp. Megatron and Preceptor had managed to calm down and sat on the floor trying to cool their heated systems. The afternoon's events were too funny and Starscream would not be living it down any time soon.

"Gentlemen 5 minutes" came the red tellietubbies voice from the other side of the door. Their next shift was from 10pm till 3am. They only had three shifts to go; all three of them were counting down the hours.

"Well, I guess it can't get much worse" half headedly commented Starscream not paying much attention as he swiped another cube and drank it.

"Oh no" Preceptor perked up "the other Autobot's could find out, they could start hanging around here and the Decepticon's..."

"Alright Preceptor we get it" huffed Megatron who had struggled to his peds and was eyeing the last cube. Preceptor just shrugged. Starscream reached for the last cube but Megatron made a spectacular dive, grabbed the energon cube and landed on top of Starscream where he then proceeded to drink the cube. Starscreams curses could be heard all the way down the hall.

"You certainly have a colourful vocabulary" sighed Preceptor as he exited the back room and headed towards the bar.

~scene change~

So there where the three mechs again hiding behind the bar. The place was already filling up.

"There is no sign of Jazz" Preceptor whispered returning from his recon mission to the bathroom. You can still hear the mission impossible theme song following him around. "I guess it's time for our shift," sighed Preceptor stepping out from behind the counter and walking finely over to a table of femmes.

The place was packed with people and creature's only one table was left. And there was no sign of Jazz anywhere. They were rushed off their peds, Megatron almost crashed into the bar twice. Preceptor was trying and failing miserably to pick up a femme and Starscream was relieved that there was no sign of a specific black and white saboteur. All of a sudden in walked in a purple transformer that had wings and wore a Decepticon logo, he looked around the bar before making his way over to the only empty table. Starscream sighed before skating over to the new customer only to stop and stare at him.

"What?" asked the purple transformer looking Starscream up and down and raising an eyebrow.

"... You have bunny ears" Starscream stated bewildered looking at his helmet.

"Shut up" he grumbled face planting on the table, still looking at Starscream.

"Whoa, someone got out of the wrong side of the berth this morning" commented Starscream leaning on his elbows on the table intertwining his fingers and resting his chin on top.

"Just a bad day" commented the stranger lifting up his head just to grab a pretzel and eat it.

"Want to tell me about it? By the way what will you have?" asked Starscream sitting down pulling out his note pad and pen. "The names Starscream"

"Cyclonus" commented the stranger as he turned his attention back to the pretzels on the table. Starscream couldn't help but notice the scene playing out behind Cyclonus. Megatron had managed to run in to Preceptor whose tray went flying in the air. The two of them ended up juggling the plates between them before finally managing to catch them, without breaking anything. The bar erupted in a round of applause as they thought it was all staged. "I'll have a scotch old fashioned, without the fruit"

"Right one scotch old fashioned hold the organic crud" replied Starscream writing down on his pad before getting up and skating away to the bar, bringing it back to Cyclonus and sitting down with him.

~ Time skip ~

"This is getting ridiculous" cried Starscream throwing his hands in the air. It was only midnight and already things had gotten so bad. Cyclonus was drunk and had lightened up a lot; some would say too much, he had also just finished singing all the songs from sound of music, twice (1). Megatron was trying to fight his way from a giant bear who was snuggling with him Preceptor had been covered in a pink cocktail twice by two different femmes and tripped over the same piece of wood that was sticking out the floor at least six times.

"And I thought things couldn't get any worse" sighed Preceptor as Starscream ran past chasing Cyclonus.

"Get back here!... and give me back my replica 1/8th size figure of Optimus Prime hugging Megatron!"

"Your what?!" cried Megatron spinning around from serving his table, drink in hand.

"Nothing" Starscream yelled back from the other side of the room, still chasing Cyclonus around, whom every so often would turn around and wink at Starscream lick his lips and continue running around.

"You took your sweet time" commented Jazz as he entered the bar, grabbing Starscream by the waist and dragging him over to the nearest table, which also happened to be Cyclonus's table. Since it was past midnight the bar wasn't so packed. Cyclonus who noticed that he was no longer being chased returned to his table raising an optic ridge at Jazz. "Names, Jazz"

"Cyclonus" they both eyed each other over with Starscream sitting between them shaking his head.

"(Yankee country American accent) time to separate the men from the boys" stated Jazz

"You the new sheriff in town?" questioned Cyclonus

"Yep, and this is the new school girl (2)" Jazz inclined his head pointing it at Starscream

"What?" Starscream looked from Cyclonus to Jazz and then Perceptor and Megatron who were across the room. But they were busy serving and the loud disco music that recently began pumping through the club, Lights low made it hard to see. Jazz and Cyclonus were chatting to each other which allowed Starscream to slip away un-noticed.

~time skip the second~

"You dare lay a finger on my star? You fiend!" cried Jazz as he jumped up on the table pointing his butter knife threateningly at Cyclonus.

"What you dare try and take my darling from me?!" Cyclonus bellowed as he two jumped up drawing a spork (it's a spoon and a fork!) they then proceeded to glare menacingly at each other slowly circling each other as Starscream sat there in complete shock wishing the floor would just swallow him whole. When Jazz darted forward stabbing at Cyclonus with the butter knife. Cyclonus also made a jab at Jazz until the two were involved in a 'sword' fight of epic proportions.

"And Jazz hasn't even had a drink yet" grumbled Starscream to no one in particular as he got over his shock. As he rubbed his cheek where Cyclonus had previously touched him causing the 'sword' fight that was currently going on.

"There my darling, I have defeated the fiend" over dramatically announced Cyclonus as he lifted up Starscream bridal style. Drawing Starscream back into reality, threatening to make his logic circuits crash.

"I'm not dead" replied Jazz, pulling the Spork out of his chest plating.

"You will be in a second"

"Such a cliché" sighed Preceptor as he came to stand by Starscream as the epic 'sword' fight became even epicer, tables flying jumping over customers that had fallen asleep. Jazz even went as far as to use one customer as a shield.

Eventually they settled down, eventually. But there was one pretzel left and Po was bugging Starscream about the amount of money owed by Cyclonus. Sighing Starscream made his way over to Cyclonus.

"You mean I have to pay?!" cried Cyclonus looking straight at Starscream after rolling around on the floor with Jazz over the last pretzel. Starscream just nodded, not even attempting to work out the insaneness of the two mechs in front of him.

~unnecessary transition~

"It's just a bad dream" mumbled Starscream with his head in his hands, as the bell tolled at 3am signalling the end of the night, Much to everyone's relief. Megatron finally managed to wriggle free and Perceptor had managed to avoid the last drink that was sent sailing his way.

"That was fun; let's do that again tomorrow night!" commented Jazz to Cyclonus as they were ushered out by the red tellietubbie.

"Yeah, later gorgeous" Cyclonus called over his shoulder as he too left.

"Are they gone?" whispered Starscream from behind the bar to Perceptor who watched them leave with glee. Preceptor just nodded as the three of them headed towards the back room. The red tellietubbie stood in front of the door shaking his head.

"Honestly that's going to cost you an extra shift, so you leave tomorrow night at 3am" and with that the red tellietubbie turned on his heels and left the three transformers to mull over their fate as they entered the back room.

"Look on the bright side at least the other Autobot's don't know" tried Preceptor and the others nodded in agreement before falling asleep together on the couch in the back room.

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_Wow this was definitely the craziest chapter yet! Please review __  
(1) from Autobotv's youtube video  
(2) from M*A*S*H_


	5. SOUNDWAVE, COVER YOUR OPTICS!

_Wow, so many story alerts! Sorry it's been so long since I updated and even longer again as its almost time for exams. I just noticed how OC Megs and Starscream act like. Well here's the fifth instalment..._

* * *

**Pay your Tab!**

Morning again, and if anything life just happened to get worse for Starscream, Megatron and Preceptor. Early morning shift went quickly again, only two customers. You'd think it would be good but no it was Jazz and Inferno. Megatron hid behind the counter yet to be discovered as Starscream waited on the table, literally as he was standing on it to try and avoid Jazz. Preceptor was currently trying to get away from Inferno who was so caught up in hugging Preceptor. Apparently Red Alert was again on the fritz and Ratchet needed Preceptors help to fix him

"I told you I cant leave until my debt is paid" tried Preceptor as he pulled against Infernos vice like grip.

"When will that be?" whined Inferno, Jazz suddenly listening in

"Last shift tonight" Preceptor strangled through. Inferno thought about it before finally letting Preceptor go. After that the morning sailed on smoothly with Jazz and Inferno leaving slightly before the end of their shift, which was a relief to Megatron who was getting leg cramps from hiding behind the bar counter.

The next shift rolled around slowly the afternoon crowd poured in. each table containing different characters. One table contained a panda and a little red haired girl (1), at another table sat a statue that occasionally seemed to change position (2) and all the others had various creatures scattered among them. The trio of Mechs had their work cut out for them as they went to serve tables, half way through their shift and there hadn't been any sign of any of the Autobots until Soundwave unexpectedly walked in.

Soundwave just happened to be investigating a new energon source with Ravage only to walk in on Megatron and Starscream who had just finished serving a table and had turned around trying to balance a pile of plates between them. Starscream looked like he just saw a ghost, Megatron was powering up his fusion cannon looking extremely mad. Soundwave had no expression at all; well at least until he fell over because of a computer crash, Ravage just started snickering in her cat like way.

About half an hour later Ravage had settled down and they had managed to fix Soundwave. Who was staring them in a slightly amused way that was hard to tell because of the Mechs battle mask and visor. After a looooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooong explanation including the detailed exploits of Starscreams insane mini following (AKA Jazz and Cyclonus) they sat in silence with only the sound of Preceptor running around from table to table trying to serve all the customers.

"If you tell any of the Decepticons you will suffer a fate worse than a fate worse then death" Megatron threatened Soundwave as the blue monotone mech stared at him. Eventually an almighty crash distracted the mechs who turned to see Preceptor sitting on the floor surrounded by broken glasses and energon.

~ Three synced Face palms later~

"Once upon a time..." started Jazz as he waltzed through the door in a suspiciously good mood.

I'll get a cloth to mop it up sighed Starscream as he walked past Preceptor who was pulling glass out of his rear and Megatron who was trying to remove Soundwaves head with a blunt spoon for laughing at his apron. After grabbing a cloth from the bar and skated over to the others. For some unknown reason Jazz had saved Soundwave from death by spoon and were sitting in a corner whispering to each other and occasionally looking over their way. Megatron stood there looking sour because his Spoon killing had been stopped, unfortunately Starscream only just came out of his daze...

"Starscream" cried Megatron in alarm as they collided together falling to the floor in a pile of limbs. Jazz was having fits of laughter as the two tried to get up only to fall over again because of the spilt Energon on the floor. Soundwave not wishing to cause a fuss silently left with Ravage as the two Mechs caused a scene. It took Preceptor, a mop and a blue femme to get Megatron and Starscream on their peds; But unfortunately for Starscream Cyclonus just happened to walk in.

"My darling angel; is she alright?" he overdramatically exclaimed.

"I am not a femme!" cried Starscream as Cyclonus swept him up into his arms, spinning around in circles. For some unknown reason Jazz seemed to take offense as well.

"Hey you; get your paws off her!" he roared in outrage.

"Wait what! I AM NOT A FEMME" yelled Starscream as he Jumped out of Cyclonus's arms and ran off with Jazz and Cyclonus in hot pursuit as Megatron finally mopped up the spilt energon on the floor.

~`*'~

After what seemed like eternity their shift finally ended and Jazz and Cyclonus were sent… kicked out.

That night was going to be the pit and then finally Megatron, Starscream and Preceptor would be free from this nightmare. If only they could survive the upcoming night with their dignity intact, hopefully but very unlikely…

* * *

_Well there's the end of the chapter, please review and leave any comments on what else you think this story needs? (Any favourite characters?) The next chapter will be the last, (and probably the longest) so I'll try and update soon _

_1) Ranma ½  
2) doctor who- the weeping angels._


	6. N is for 'Never Again'

_In memory of Oscar; my pet dog who died today.  
but anyway so sorry this chapter is soooo late. Consider it an early Christmas present XD_

* * *

**Pay your tab, part 6!**

Life hated them that they knew for sure. Preceptor was having a nervous beak down; Starscream had flipped his lid and was muttering darkly and giggling insanely. Megatron was wishing the floor would swallow him up or just spontaneously combust and rejoin the well of all spark. Why? Well the three mechs were hiding behind the bar, which conveniently had three mech shape indentations where they sat. Looking over the top at the crowded room. Why? Well…

Optimus Prime, Jazz, Prowl, Skyfire, Inferno, Ratchet, Red Alert (who was singing), Bumblebee and Wheeljack had walked in and spread themselves among the tables. But that was not all. Soundwave had conveniently let slip to Rumble, Thundercracker, Skywarp, Astrotrain and Dirge who also were there. So Megatron was conveniently trying to offline Soundwave with a convenient knife he conveniently found lying around. 'How convenient' thought Starscream, moving slightly towards the left as Megatron dragged Soundwave down further behind the bar.

The whole bar was full. Hardly a spare seat could be found. Transformers littered the room, loud music blasting through the bar. All the tables were full and the dance floor was alive with techno music and a pulsing crowd.

Preceptor was pushing through the crowd, across the dance floor to his first table. Grinding to a halt he paused going bright red at the stares he received from the mechs sitting at the table, Inferno, Skyfire, Red Alert (who was the only one not slightly dazed at the sight of Preceptor) Astrotrain and Dirge, Lifting up his note pad to hide himself and his name tag. Preceptor had just decided to give in to his fate and had willingly gone to work instead of, like Megatron and Starscream locking themselves in the only broom cupboard. Which was quite an achievement in itself as the cupboard was so tiny and Megatron and Starscream were so big. Also Starscreams claustrophobia didn't help. Returning his attention to the table Preceptor sighed.

Megatron wasn't having much luck either. He had been forced out of his cupboard and sent out to collect customers' orders, convincing himself that he might as well get it over and done with. Starscream hadn't given up yet. He was now hiding in the dishwasher. Prowl had crashed from the shock of seeing the Decepticon commander in a frilly white apron. Optimus was just staring at him suspiciously, Soundwave just stared also, knife half sticking out of his neck. Megatron had a sneaking suspicion that he was being glared at for trying to remove Soundwaves head. Wheeljack was laughing so hard he had fallen off his chair and was rolling around on the floor. Bumblebee was averting his eyes but still looking at him out of the corner of his optics. Giving a threatening growl under his breath before slamming both hands flat on the table and demanding to know what their orders were so that he could leave.

Starscream had been forced out to work as he was pried out of the dishwasher and threatened with elongated working time. So hear he was grumbling and stalking over to his last table to take the order of. But unfortunately he was greeted by boisterous laughter from Skywarp as he gleefully ogled his air commanders' current predicament. Only a swift smack to the back of his helm by Thundercracker shut Skywarp up. Thundercraker tried not to laugh but the humor was clear in his optics. Skywarp was still giggling like a hyped up sparkling staring at Starscream. Jazz had the same perverted smirk on his face plates as previously. Ratchet offered to remodel Starscream into a femme as he sat there trying to get over his shock. Rumble on the other hand had a camera and was gleefully photographing Starscream and had run off in search of Megatron and Preceptor.

"What will you have?" asked Starscream through his teeth as he tried to glare a hole through Skywarps head.

"Ok so for Ratchet, Jazz, Rumble and Thundercraker it's Energon and for Skywarp its Tea without milk or sugar… or tea" Read back Starscream giving Skywarp an odd look as he nodded in agreement.

"Fine, I'll be back" he sighed as he rolled away, dignity dragging along behind.

Preceptor had returned with drinks to his table only to be grabbed by Red Alert who was on his 27th re sing of 'once upon a December' and forced to sit on his lap as Preceptor was crushed in a hug. The other mechs took their drinks and sat there watching Preceptor being forced to dance around with Red Alert.

Megatron was still being harassed by the mechs on his table, Optimus had lightened up a bit and was giggling insanely every time he looked at Megatron, Prowl still was crashed but Rumble and Wheeljack were busy re-decorating him with coloured markers. Soundwave and Bumblebee had gotten Rumbles camera and were taking random photos, mostly of Megatron himself. With one last look Megatron turned on his heels and left the table behind in his dust as he walked off.

Starscream had returned with the drinks for his table. Skywarp drank his tea (hot water) quickly before trying to steal Ratchets energon which resulted in a wrench to the head. Starscream quickly made himself scares as Skywarp was whining to Thundercracker.

All three mechs ended up together at the bar again. Jazz had run into Cyclonus again and was having a dance off which gave Starscream the sneaking suspicion that he should make himself scares afterward.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Time Skip~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

'Two hours to go' thought Starscream 'only two hours to go' but trying to convince himself was really hard at the moment. Skywarp and a tipsy Thundercracker had decided that can canning was something that had to be done. So stuck between the two mech who were either side of him they were doing the can can.

"Left leg, kick! Right leg kick, kick. Left leg Kick." Yelled Thundercracker as they danced atop of the table. Literally holding Starscream up as he tried to get a grip of the table with the skates he was wearing while also trying to make a break for it. Rumble had completely disappeared; Ratchet and Jazz sat cheering on the trio of dancing seekers and drinking energon waving paper fans in the air.

Preceptor sighed as he watched the Seekers from his table across the room. It was not so much the fact that Starscream was trying and failing to get his trine to let him go that was annoying Preceptor it was Skyfire sitting next to him complaining.

"whyyyy dosent Starscream ask me to dance? I miss him sooooo much and now we can talk without any interuptions. But nooooooo. Oh I love him so blah blah blah….." Preceptor started to tune out of this conversation. Inferno was too busy with Red Alert and trying to get him to come down off the chandelier to care. Astrotrain and Dirge were being no help laughing their heads off as they played poker with pretzels.

Starscream looked across to where Preceptor sat, Skyfire basically bawling his optics out on Preceptors shoulder. The only thing keeping him sane in this hell hole was the fact that Jazz and Cyclonus were kicked out of the club for using customers as shields as they threw cutlery, plates, glasses and whatever else they could find at each other.

Though as Starscream predicted the night ended with a bang. Not in the sense of a giant explosion but rather an embarrassing catastrophe.

Megatron fell over.

Straight into Optimus Primes lap.

Well to be fair he tripped; but it did not fail to be spectacular. Megatron had just placed some plates onto a table and turned to leave in the most dignified way possible for a mech on roller-skates with a frilly apron; when he tripped over his own feet and went sprawling in to Optimus Primes lap, spilling his Energon everywhere. Optimus looked surprised and shocked but quickly recovered to a smug look on his face plates at Megatron who sat in his lap slightly dazed and very undignified. It was quite a site and Rumble definitely has pictures… wherever he is.

Megatron as soon as he re-gained his bearings jumped straight up out of Optimus Primes lap bright red (which is impossible for giant robots, but managed to do so anyway) and rushed to the back room. Conveniently their shift ended and Preceptor and Starscream shoved the customers out of the bar before going to the back room also.

In the back room Megatron hung his head, Preceptor looked dead on his peds and Starscream was slightly pleased that it hadn't happened to him but wasn't going to mention this on pain of death. Preceptor was about to final fall into recharge on Starscream's shoulder when the door swung open grabbing the group of mechs attention.

"Your Free" stated Po as he turned and walked away from the three Mechs. Their aprons came off with ease and their peds had returned to normal. The trio high tailed it out of their as fast as their servos could carry them. Vowing never to return again.

Oh life was good again thought Starscream as he lazily sat in his chair. Peds perched on the desk, as he read a report from Skywarp about how the slime planet was and 'when Megatron would cool off and let them return'; the answer, not for a long time. He then started to read a note from Preceptor. After their ordeal they would be keeping in touch; maybe not all Autobots were so bad. Starscream had been given a week or so off, in return for never speaking of 'that' incident even again. Starscream had agreed, well he wouldn't bring it up… at least not till the next time Megatron annoyed him.

Fin

* * *

_Wow… I can't believe it; Pay Your Tab is finally finished! Sorry it took so long but I had to write an ending I liked. So what did you think? Review and if you have any ideas for my other running story, High School Never Ends, please tell me. Thanks for sticking around till the end, XD_


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